Choices.

Disini lahirnya sebuah cinta bagi aku. I love my family. Especially my parents, mak dengan abah yang tercinta. and wont forget about my two sisters, gg and hani with my two big cats hihi :-) We're living at a terrace house but I'm happy living in this house. Since I was childhood I was still staying at shah alam. I feel comfortable. Previously I was a lazy kid. Malas buat kerja , malas dalam segala kemalasan. When my mom asked me to help her , tidy up our house. I'll gives a lot of excuses. When my dad asked me to study , I'll pretend to study. Unfortunately i was texting my friends behind their back. I shouldnt do this to them. It's a big mistakes. I've got lots of problems nowadays. Terasa macam disingkirkan. I need to go home. I miss all of you. I want to tells my parents how heavy my problems i'm carrying now. I need them to makes me stand up again. But if I tells this will makes them more burden to carry on. They'll worried and sad because of me. Biarlah aku yang tanggung beban aku sendiri pula. Barulah sekarang aku rasa perasaan macam ni. My mom used to advice me , she said '' Kau dah besar nanti , kau rasalah beban macam mana mak rasa sekarang''. Seriously terasa sedih and down sangat. First thing, I need to spend a lot of money every week for staying here. Maybe now its a bit shy to ask them for the money. And plus abah wanted to quit the job at his company , my mom will have to bear us all alone. I was not supposed to studying here. Duit exam tak bayar lagi , Duit hostel pun tak bayar lagi. Poor my mom and my dad. I still remembered my how my dad tells me that he wanted  to quit. I know he was crying. He needs his daughter to supported him too. He's got a lot of problems to solve. Hutang bank lagi , and kinds of sorta. I already told mom that I wanted to takes PT to recovered her burden , but what she said ''mak boleh tanggung kau lagi , kau jangan nak susahkan diri kau bayar bila besar nanti''. Tak sampai hati bila dengar macam ni. I knew my parents never tells my two sister about their problems and loans they used to borrow from the banks. I knew my sisters wont understand the situation. I'm very oath pressure. Another two weeks I've got my examination to go through. I can't focus.  I do not appreciate the opportunities I have once. Previously I've the time to learn , but I'll pull it away. I'll be a good person if I know how to listen , but what I have to believe on my fate. I need to focus and struggle up for the good result so that i can help my parents , so they can smile again. 

Amin :-)

Pain

I just deactivated my facebook account , err so immature. well there's lot things happened to me lately. I just can get rid of my problems. Anywhere i go , problems will follows me. And let it be me only knows how terrible it feels. Writing a blog there's only thing i can do to cure my heart slowly to spread the feelings for my readers who understands women feelings.


Ada saat kita dekat atas , ada saat kita dekat bawah as we goes upward , but we can also fall down. When I'm alone by myself , I'm suffering. I feels like i'm in the dark. Feels like there's nobody would help me. Do you know why i feel this way ? 


Its because I listens to many sad and love songs -.- 
That's why I feels pain.
Lonely , Loser. and etc.

!#$%#@%^&&*()_++&%$@

this is what we called BULLSHIT.

UNISEL

It looks like everything changes too fast in a blink of eyes. Terasa lama dah tak online and update blog , well here i am. hee. Currently i used to live at kuala selangor which is because i have started studying here at Unisel Kuala Selangor as know as Unisex Batang Berjuntai huahuahua. Imagine , there's no entertainment around this area -.- If i was at shah alam , i get so much more. Especially this people who always entertain me. My family , My friends and + My ♥ones. 

Actually , It's not that bad. I still have my friends here. and yeah , i love my house. WANNA SEE ? aha , Lets take look --- 

Err , this is my pink bed . LOL ^_^ saja nak market hahahahaha :-) 

And soooo on .. (malas nak tunjuk)

Hostel ? what do you know if living in the hostel ? hahaha. OKAY , Maybe we need some explaination here , HEHE. First of all , duduk hostel tak boleh nak keluar balik lambat lambat. hahaha , tak nak macam bodoh pula bila tepat pukul 12 je SIREN pak / mak guard bunyi sikit punya kuat. (thats mean , we should get into our own houses) tell ya, they are soooo mean -.- LOL. well , bukan tu je. duduk hostel tak boleh nak pakai sexay maxzyyyy HOHO, Thats normal , what makes me hate those people who doesnt know how to wear proper when you are in the campus. You're in the campus. NOT YOUR HOUSE , EVEN NOT YOUR PAVILION. HELL NO , never wear those clothes . trust me , People Hate You. Pffffft. And one more thing , terlampau banyak hantu dekat sini. LOL! aha , but seriously every single day ada hantu haha sampai dah tak larat nak layan perasan takut ni -___- Whatever it is , TUHAN MAHA BESAR. 

Bila dah lama duduk sini , kelas pun malas malas je nak pg haha . biasalah baru lagi kan ;D MAKAN TAK SEDAP , MAKAN TAK LALU HAISH. HOMESICK , SAKIT SAKIT LAH , DEMAM LAH APALAH -__- Semua tak kena. Untuk siapa siapa yg taknak life mcm ni , lebih baik duduk rumah goyang kote je hahaha 

Full of question marks.

Why should i thinks about you ? Well you just remains the same. We both knew that you've changed a lot for me. but you just can't controlled your anger. that is exactly what you're still never realise , what if i'm gone ? what would you'll do ? just keeps on with your behaviour ? or just keeps yourself quietly ? i just dont get it. you're a perfect guy , i dont need anyone else to replaces you. you knew who i am. there's only one man who i wanted to love. no need anyone else. it's only you.

Why cant you just makes me calm when i cant controlled myself ? Its not that i wanted your sympathy, its just that i need you to makes me feel that you're concerned about me. like i did to you. i just want you to be yourself. being a human being who has a feelings like others.


Keeping a secret between each other will makes it worst.

Everythings i did makes it hard to you. I never said those words to you. but you did.

Why i'm being so difficult to you ? i just dont know why , i'm not perfect. i just cant get it with my own feelings. its just the feelings that no one's know yet. you never understand me.
What if i just throw out my phonecard , so that i just can makes you freedom ?
If that makes you'll release your stressed ?
What i said is always wrong, and never right.  

Waiting and keeps on waiting for you to come back home and ignore what i feels. 

Cry-Cry-Cry. thats all i do. pathetic.

I wish i never had any feelings in myself. so i can just entertain everyone with a smile. not just pretended to smile but deep down inside i'm still hurt enough. 

Its never easy to get rid of this feelings. 

I didnt know how you did. 

Because i'm just a typical girls you ever knew. Boring. and Stupid.

Everything is not going to be alright. I wanted you to cure my heart again. prove me if you loves me.